Results Through Relationships: Building Trust, Performance, and Profit Through People

Chapter 4. Relish Productive Confrontations

For most people, confrontation is uncomfortable. In business, confronting a boss or customer is never easy. As you begin the process of developing partnering relationships, you may be concerned that confronting individuals with feedback may destroy the relationship. When you give honest and direct feedback to another person, you should anticipate some opposition. As the last chapter pointed out, the person you are providing feedback to may not agree with what you have to say. Rather than strengthening the relationship, making a simple observation about a relationship partner's recent decision can escalate into a confrontation about her management style. The good news is: that's not bad. The better news is: it could strengthen the relationship immeasurably.

If you're like most people, you manage up like you're handling a fragile piece of china. You believe that one argument might shatter the entire relationship; that if you disagree with your boss or customer, she'll think you're being difficult.

As uncomfortable as this confrontation may be, it is crucial to results-producing relationships. We all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives, so if there isn't some friction in a relationship, someone isn't telling the truth. When people never debate or disagree, a false sense of harmony exists. Getting the truth out into the open is worth whatever discomfort you must endure. The best ideas often emerge from this truth—problem-solving, ...