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Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition

Name: Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition
Author: Barbara Annis
ISBN: 9780134513614

by Barbara Annis

April 2016

Beginner

224 pages

4h 30m

English

Pearson

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About This E-Book
Title Page
Copyright Page
Praise for Same Words, Different Language
Dedication Page
Contents at Glance
Contents
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Introduction

1. It’s Time to Change the Water We Swim In
The Women’s Side of the StoryThe Lights Start Going OnThe Fish AquariumTraditional and New Business ModelsThe Traditional Business ModelThe New Business ModelEveryone’s ProblemThe Solution? Fresh Water
2. How Gender Intelligent Are You?
Men’s Stages of AwarenessQuestionnaire for MenStage One—DenialStage Two—Recognition/AwarenessStage Three—Confusion/FrustrationStage Four—Partnership/CongruenceWomen’s Stages of AwarenessQuestionnaire for WomenStage One—Denial/UnawarenessStage Two—Recognition/AwarenessStage Three—Confusion/FrustrationStage Four—Partnership/Congruence
3. The Science of Gender Difference
Tendencies, Not AbsolutesWomen and Men Have Different BrainsWhat’s the Difference?A Ride on the HippocampusProblem Solving, Decision Making, and the Prefrontal CortexFeelingsReading FeelingsWe Deal with Stress DifferentlyTeamwork: Collaborators or Competitors—or Both?Not Better, Not Worse, Just Different
4. Attention, Women: How Men See You—and How They Feel About It
Men’s Top Five Challenges Working with WomenChallenge 1—Men Believe They Have to Be CarefulWomen’s ReactionThe Insight for WomenThe Insight for MenChallenge 2—Men Feel ConfusedWomen’s ReactionThe Insight for WomenThe Insight for MenChallenge 3—Men Fear Being Accused of HarassmentWomen’s ReactionThe Insight for WomenThe Insight for MenChallenge 4—Men Perceive Overt Focus on WomenWomen’s ReactionThe Insight for WomenThe Insight for MenChallenge 5—Men Feel BlamedWomen’s ReactionThe Insight for WomenThe Insight for Men
5. The Word to Men: “Attention Must Be Paid” to Your Women Colleagues
Women’s Top Five Challenges Working with MenChallenge 1—Women Feel DismissedMen’s ReactionThe Insight for MenThe Insight for WomenChallenge 2—Women Feel ExcludedMen’s ReactionThe Insight for MenThe Insight for WomenChallenge 3—Women Feel TestedMen’s ReactionThe Insight for MenThe Insight for WomenChallenge 4—Aping the Clichés of Alpha-Male BehaviorMen’s ReactionThe Insight for MenThe Insight for WomenChallenge 5—Women Feel Like TokensMen’s ReactionThe Insight for MenThe Insight for Women
6. Same Words, Different Language
Language QuizHow Men and Women Listen“Yes”What Men HearWhat Women HearThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“What Do You Think?”What Men HearWhat Women HearThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“Teamwork”What Men HearWhat Women HearThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“Tabling an Idea”What Men DoWhat Women DoThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“Arguments”What Men HearWhat Women HearThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“Success”What Men Think Success MeansWhat Women Think Success MeansThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“How to Listen Effectively”What Men DoWhat Women DoThe MisunderstandingThe Solution“The Best Way to Convince Is…”What Men HearWhat Women HearThe MisunderstandingThe SolutionTake Responsibility
7. Perception as Filter: Why Men and Women Live in Different Realities
Men’s and Women’s Sore ToesWomen’s Sore Toe—“Protective Behavior”Men’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Sore Toe—Feeling “Excluded”Men’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Sore Toe—“Male-Centered Language”Men’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Sore Toe—Being Discounted or DiscreditedMen’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Sore Toe—Male BondingMen’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Sore Toe—When Men Are Overly CautiousMen’s FilterThe Solution for MenWomen’s Perceptual FiltersMen’s Sore Toe—“When Women Don’t Articulate Problems Clearly”Women’s FilterThe Solution for WomenMen’s Sore Toe—“Women Generalize”Women’s FilterThe Solution for WomenMen’s Sore Toe—“Women Get Emotional”Women’s FilterThe Solution for MenMen’s Sore Toe—“Why Don’t Women Correct Inappropriate Behavior?”Women’s FilterThe Solution for WomenMen’s Sore Toe—“Women Don’t Get to the Point”Women’s FilterThe Solution for WomenTake Ownership of Your Filters
8. Assumptions and Blind Spots
Maya’s StoryWhere Was the Blind Spot?Blind Spots at HomeBlind Spots Are Self-PerpetuatingBreaking the CycleMen’s Blind Spots“You have to be careful with women.”“Women are more comfortable dealing with women.”“Women can’t handle tough work or tough clients.”Women’s Blind Spots“Men like the status quo.”“Men are insensitive.”“Men think they own the leadership role.”
9. Understanding Our Strengths
Management StylesThe Benefits of Both ApproachesProblem SolvingThe Benefits of Both ApproachesJob InterviewsThe Benefits of Both ApproachesPerformance EvaluationsThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesMale and Female Behavior at MeetingsBeing HeardSellingThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesDelegatingThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesNegotiationThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesNetworkingThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesPublic SpeakingThe Benefits of Combining ApproachesLook to the OtherBe More Inclusive: Start with Giving PromotionsConverting Differences into StrengthsThings Are Changing
10. Resolving Gender Conflicts
Attacking versus ResolvingSo How Can We Resolve Conflicts?S.A.R.A.Commit to Short-Term SufferingThe Win-Win Way—Outcome FrameTeam Conflicts“Ah-hah” Moments
Afterword
Further Reading
Index

Content preview from Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition

1. It’s Time to Change the Water We Swim In

Water to the fish, air to the bird, both can’t see it, but they can feel the turbulent forces of change.

—Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The first time I talked to them, they told me theirs was the kind of New York law firm that young lawyers were “dying” to work for. But from what other people had told me about the place, I suspected people were “dying” from working there. I was right. In the last year, several of their top lawyers, all women, had left. The women said they left for “family reasons” or “work-life balance.” I knew there was more to it than that.

It really was an impressive law firm. The office was huge and luxurious, and the client list was a Who’s Who of top ...

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Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition

by Barbara Annis

1. It’s Time to Change the Water We Swim In

Become an O’Reilly member and get unlimited access to this title plus top books and audiobooks from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers, thousands of courses curated by job role, 150+ live events each month,
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