Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition

5. The Word to Men: “Attention Must Be Paid” to Your Women Colleagues

The mind, once stretched by a new insight, never regains its original dimensions.

—O.W. Holmes, “The Poet at the Breakfast Table”

I started the chapter on men’s challenges with a warning for women to avoid judging men too quickly. “Look for insights,” I advised. When women really listen to men talking about their challenges working with women, they are often surprised—even amazed—by what they hear.

This chapter starts with a similar warning to men: try to resist arguing with what the women say. Your tendency will likely be to regard the stories that illustrate the women’s challenges as isolated incidents. That makes it easy to assume that each story “only happened that one ...