6. Same Words, Different Language

Our conversational styles are different. If what you’re after is not just self-expression but communication—then it’s not enough for the language to be right; it must be understood.

—Deborah Tannen, Professor of Linguistics, You Just Don’t Understand

So we’ve seen that men and women think differently. We process information differently. But we still speak the same language—don’t we? Surely we can solve our problems just by talking.

Actually, talking isn’t the complete solution. Sometimes, talking is part of the problem. This is because men and women don’t just think and process information differently; we also communicate differently. Even when we use the same words, we often don’t mean the same thing. Most of ...

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