Say Anything to Anyone, Anywhere: 5 Keys To Successful Cross-Cultural Communication

Chapter 8

Develop Rapport

The Most Important Element in Cross-Cultural Relationships

What is rapport? This term is difficult for most people to define, because it’s more of a feeling than anything else. You know when you feel it, and you know when you don’t. You can even feel it with a perfect stranger when you least expect it.

How many times while standing in line at the grocery store or movie theater or waiting at the airport have you struck up a conversation with a complete stranger? You may begin talking about something that is of interest to both of you, or nothing special at all—just making conversation. At that moment in time, you feel that you have something in common with that person. You have connected with that person, and you feel comfortable with him or her. There is a natural feeling of similarity and trust for that brief interval together.

And even if you never see that person again, you had complete rapport with a perfect stranger as your paths crossed. When you part ways, you probably think to yourself, “That was a nice guy [or woman].” And the other person is probably thinking the same thing about you. You have just experienced rapport in its purest form. It’s a connection—a natural feeling of comfort, similarity, and trust with someone you had never met before—for that instant in time. And everyone has had that feeling of rapport at one time or another.

The question is: Why do we have rapport with some people and not with others? Why is it so easy with certain ...