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22Dismissed: What If I Am Not Feeling Heard?

Sometimes not feeling like someone is listening can cause folks to stop speaking up in the moment and, depending on the situation, altogether. We have all had that moment of feeling frustrated because we aren't being heard. For some of you, the discomfort of even playing back in your mind the last time you didn't feel heard causes you to have that nervy uncomfortable feeling that happens somewhere between your nose and your navel.

I have a dear friend who, shortly after giving birth, began to have some severe pain in one of her breasts. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed with the first few months of being a mom to a newborn, she casually mentioned it to me in a call and I said she needed to call her doctor. After a day or so of convincing, she called the doctor, who didn't have any appointments open until about a week out. I convinced her to set up a telehealth visit with her doctor's office to speak with a lactation nurse in the meantime. During the call, my friend explained to the nurse what her symptoms were, and the nurse said, “Well, I'm not sure what it is, but you can come in.” My friend was so frustrated, she just withdrew. The nurse made no attempts to remotely evaluate her by asking probing questions or anything. The nurse also just seemed generally uninterested and disengaged. Who wants to deal with that while also battling a health concern and taking care of a new baby?

Feeling dismissed, my friend resigned to deal with ...