Say More About That

26It's a Conversation, Not a Confrontation

Conversations that give us nervous feelings, are about uncomfortable topics, or that require us to disagree are still conversations. Often those are some of the most important conversations to have! Whether we are getting or giving or giving tough feedback, it is still a conversation. We might not like how we feel in the moment, but remember that it is still just a conversation, not a confrontation. Confrontation is hostile and argumentative, and you should never have to reach that level of escalation using the techniques in this book. That doesn't mean you won't have feelings about a conversation where you and someone else are not seeing eye to eye. Let's explore some techniques to help you drive a confident conversation that holds people accountable.

Be Prepared

Before getting into a discussion that you know could be uncomfortable, make yourself some notes and outline your objectives for the discussion. Notes and objectives help to keep you on track and to not forget any of the points you want to say when you are in the meeting. It is especially helpful to have notes when you anticipate that you may be emotional about a meeting. Being prepared can keep us from losing the points we want to cover if we find ourselves affected by the discussion. Consider making yourself some light talking points or notes as a tactic to help you keep your composure in uncomfortable discussions and ensure that all of your concerns are addressed.