Self as Coach, Self as Leader

Introduction: Leaping into the Dark Woods

In the middle of the journey of our life

I found myself astray in a dark wood

where the straight road had been lost sight of.

—Dante Alighieri, The Inferno

The Cultivation of the Coach’s Internal Landscape

William James, professor of philosophy and psychology at Harvard early in the twentieth century, wrote about “once-born” and “twice-born” people (1913). He described once-borns as those who tend not to veer very far off course in this life, staying close to who they believe they are or ought to be and what they think others expect of them. Once-borns may not be fully satisfied with their lives, but they choose not to venture into the shadowy “woods,” that mysterious territory where the unknown surpasses the predictable. Twice-born people, through choice or crisis, cross into the woods (sometimes with no alternative and other times willingly), make mistakes, allow themselves to fully suffer losses, learn from them, and get up again. These people are more likely to take a dive into exploring changes they need to make in themselves in order to live a life that radiates with greater meaning, to reinvent themselves and shed old stories and ways of being to discover the new. A century earlier, Danish philosopher Kierkegaard used a similar analogy, a leap of faith or an inwardness, again underlining that willingness to veer off the road and into the woods when we don’t know what is ahead. A century later, in today’s world, to remain ...