Chapter |  three

Piracy Is Good. Long Live Pirates. Yarrr.

Several months ago, long before my editrix had perused the sales figures from my previous two books and discovered that they were selling like pancakes,1 long before she had practically begged me to write a third installment based on my vast knowledge of how to successfully distribute films, and long, long before I had begun filling said installment with helpful advice and charming diagrams, I did something bad. In the eyes of many people, it was the worst thing I could do. Something worse than all the shitty sex jokes and sexy shit jokes. It was something that people with nothing at stake had been warning me not to do it for years.

Many months ago, as the white snow that had quickly ...

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