Software for Your Head

ANTIPATTERN: RESOLUTION AVOIDANCE

PROBLEM

You don't deal efficiently with conflict because you're afraid of it.

SUPPOSED SOLUTION

Lay low. Don't cause problems. Avoid conflict.

“Avoiding conflicts,” as the phrase is commonly used, is a one-eighty strategy. That is, if you consider yourself a person who “avoids conflict,” the chances are good that your behavior really has the opposite effect: You end up attracting conflict. You really can't avoid conflict. You can only avoid resolution. Hence, ResolutionAvoidance By dodging situations wherein a conflict is likely to—or ought to—surface explicitly, and perhaps be resolved, you don't reduce the amount of conflict in your life; you gather and increase it.

Unresolved problems grow. Their appetites ...