Software for Your Head

PATTERN: INVESTIGATE

PROBLEM

You see others better than you see yourself; but the difficulty of communicating what you see prevents you from exploiting this ability.

When someone tells you what he sees in you, it is sometimes difficult to hear the scrutiny. If it is something good, you probably laugh it off, interrupt the speaker, or change the subject. If it is a weakness, some way in which you continue to hurt yourself, you may become defensive or angry. Typically, the information is not given to you in a fully supportive way. Sometimes it is called “feedback” and is really unsympathetic criticism. Such criticism is usually poorly intended and thus off the mark.

It is unfortunate that we do not have highly effective, institutionalized methods ...