Step Off!

30Taking Matters into Your Own Hands

Having children is the most extreme adventure any of us could ever experience, and I should know—I hosted MTV Sports (insert rimshot, canned laughter and a Mentos-like freeze-frame here). The joy that being a parent brings into your life is unparalleled by any other experience, but some of the changes that accompany that joy can throw the best of us off of our game.

Any couple who's had a child can attest to the fact that there's one aspect of their relationship that really, shall we say, dries up a bit after kids enter the picture. If they don't agree with me, they're either lying or they're lying. That's right, I'm talking about loading the clown into the canon, the freaky deaky, or, as Salt and Pepa said, “Let's talk about sex, baby.”

Sex doesn't completely cease when you have a child; it comes to more of a rolling stop. A rolling stop that's barely moving, but stopped enough that you'd still pass your driver's test. Because of these types of issues and others associated with being a parent, many couples are forced to get creative when it comes to finding time to…“relax.”

A few summers back, I took my children to a beach near where I live in Malibu called Little Dume. It's a private beach that's very well known for the many A-List celebrities who adorn it. For the record, I don't consider myself an A-Lister like those folks, I'm more of an Ayyyyy lister, and I don't “adorn” it, I bring more of a beached whale with a beer and boombox vibe ...