Strive

Conclusion

So, there you have it: ten years of research boiled down into one book. Now for this conclusion, I must summarise the message of the book into one or two punchy yet somewhat pithy pages. Hmmm, no pressure. Here we go!

People today have totally bought into the misconception that negative thoughts and emotions are bad and bad for us, and positive emotions and thoughts are good and good for us. As a result, we go to great lengths to avoid uncomfortable states such as uncertainty, anxiety, confusion and fear. Instead, we are drawn to comfort, happiness and certainty like moths to a flame. However, the avoidance of uncomfortable states leads to a wasted life or a life that is half-baked. This reduces our fulfilment and self-esteem, and ultimately has a detrimental impact on our wellbeing and mental health. How can I be so convinced of this? Thousands of research participants told us so. Here are the key points we have learned.

1. Human beings are most fulfilled when striving towards a meaningful goal, vision or aspiration: The striving is not about arriving at the end goal but getting in the trenches with the struggle that is inherent in all striving.
2. The most gratifying striving involves the greatest level of struggle: We get cuts and bruises, and sometimes struggle gets the best of us, but if we don’t retreat, we crawl out of the trenches a better and more evolved version of ourselves. The courage and evolution that occurs in the strive is what we crave. They are the ...