Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen

Chapter 12. Adjust Your Energy: Start Attracting, Stop Repelling

Don't you enjoy being around energetic, positive people? People who are stimulating and make you feel good gain your commitment faster and easier.

Most of us could use an energy boost. I don't mean morphing into Jim Cramer from Mad Money, gesturing wildly, sharing rapid-fire opinions, and yelling his catchphrase, "Booya!"—that works for Cramer, but it would likely be career suicide in your workplace. What I mean by "adjusting your energy" is combining your purpose with the right level of passion. Sometimes you need to ramp it up; sometimes you need to tone it down. It's situational, but achieving the right energy level convinces people to act.

People Monitor You for Signals

As you know, when you communicate with someone, it's not just the words you choose that send a message. People monitor the signals you send. Your intensity, facial expression, pitch, tone, volume, eye contact, and body language all combine to influence others. The question is, "How does your energy level come across to others?" Do others define you as energetic, stiff, disinterested, lazy, angry, determined, icy?

The signals you send are crucial for this reason: reciprocity. People give back to you what you give to them. Energy feeds on itself. Energized people create energy in others. If you look and sound engaged and self-assured, people will respond more positively to you. If you look or sound off-putting, you'll induce negative responses.

Energy ...