chapter 23

Shock Absorber

Getting Through to an Emotional Partner

Does This sound like your life?

You come home exhausted after work, and all you want is a little quiet—and maybe, if you’re lucky, a little affection. But instead, your partner lights into you as soon as you get in the door: “Do you know what your daughter did at school today? She humiliated me in front of the PTA president. When I offered to make something for the bake sale, she said, ‘I’ll bet people would pay not to eat my mom’s crappy gluten-free cookies.’ After everything I do to make sure she eats right, she embarrasses me about it.”

You see yourself as the calm person in your relationship and your partner as the irrational one. So when your partner starts yelling, you ...

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