Hungry for Feedback! Oh, Really?

When our oldest daughter was fifteen years old, I decided to show a modicum of courage by asking Sara how she thought I could improve as her dad. Throughout the years, Sara had been reluctant to share her insights. I think part of Sara’s approach related to how safe she felt around me. Also, I think she felt a need to take care of me. Her need to please and her silence during contentious conversations in the family taught her that the price might be too high if she disagreed with my point of view.

At some point I did want to know what I needed to do to be better at the art of fathering. I was naïve and frightened enough as a father in my thirties and early forties to assume that I was doing a good ...

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