Chapter 14


In which we learn that life accelerates as we get older and it can be really shitty at times. We arm you with a ‘happy button’ and leave you wondering why the chapter title is ‘Chumbawumba’.


Dear mum and dad

Apologies for taking so long to write, but my writing utensils were destroyed in the fire at my apartment. Thankfully I am now out of hospital and the doctor says I should be able to lead a fairly normal life.

A handsome young man called Pete saved me from the fire and kindly offered to share his flat with me. He ...

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