The Art of Authenticity

11How to Make Peace with Paradox

The fundamental state of leadership is not about being a wild card. It is not about being “authentic” in the sense of unloading our store of pent-up frustrations. It is about being purpose-centered, internally directed, other-focused, and externally open. “Letting the boss have it” is not the answer. Entering the fundamental state of leadership is much more demanding than that.

—Robert E. Quinn¹

The simple answer (deceptively simple) is that to be a more effective leader, you must be yourself—more—with skill.

—Gareth Jones and Rob Goffee²

I checked my lipstick and looked directly in the mirror—painful enough given the harsh hotel bathroom lighting—to deliver my carefully crafted speech to my reflection: “Halle, I have a partner of 23 years who is a woman. I am gay. I know I should have told you at some point in the last 10 years, but I just could not find the courage.” Actually, I only thought the last part, as a lump formed in my throat and the deepest part of my intestines clenched after I said the I am gay part out loud in the mirror.

I was getting ready for dinner with one of my favorite clients, who had become a friend over the years. We had worked together in multiple organizations on several large-scale executive development projects over the years. At that time, she was the head of talent development for Invesco, a large asset management ...