The Ask

Chapter 2Why Should People Ask?

I could answer the question in the chapter title in one sentence and move on to the next chapter, but you deserve much more. My one sentence is that the number-one reason why people do not get what they want is that they have not asked. Looking at this from another perspective, the number-one reason why people do not give or take action is they have not been asked. This has been tested and tested, and it's true. Human nature steers us into the false notion that if we spend time with someone; explain at length and with great detail what we want; show them charts, graphs, reports, and testimonials; and they smile while we are doing all this activity, then there is no need to ask. That person will naturally volunteer to give or to sign themselves up for the activity you just described. Spending time is not the same as making an ask.

While consulting with an organization that could not move its board to help raise funds, a board member shared with me that his style was to spend time with people, take them for coffee or lunch, meet them at the gym or networking meetings, and just “let the person do what they want to do on their own time.” After all, he continued, people know why you are spending time with them, so there is no reason to pressure them to make an investment.” In his words, “They will do the right thing.” So I asked him over the past year exactly how much money did he raise for the organization? He never answered me directly, because the ...