Chapter 4How to Be an Exceptional Asker

I'm often asked, What does it take to be a really good asker? I thought about this and said, “Well, why would anyone want to be good when they can be exceptional?” I often say to clients, “Sure I can get you to ‘great’ but wouldn't you want to get to ‘exceptional?’ So I put together those characteristics, those qualities I have observed over the years that I believe make someone an exceptional asker. Now I want you to be that exceptional asker, and I can get you there. You could have the time to be a good or great asker, but why not put in a little extra time to be that exceptional asker? Here are the characteristics I aspire to and practice in preparation for each ask.

The 10 Essential Characteristics of an Exceptional Asker

Before I share the techniques to use when you make your asks, it is important that you know the characteristics that epitomize the exceptional asker. These are qualities that I believe everyone should strive for, adopt, and exercise whenever you make your ask. So here we go. Askers need to:

  • Believe 100 percent in their ask.
  • Speak with both passion and compassion.
  • Listen to each and every word.
  • Prepare for how the person will react to the ask.
  • Take the time to do the ask in person.
  • Treat each ask as a special moment in time.
  • Be mindful of body language, dress, and tone of voice.
  • Follow up with each ask until there is an answer.
  • Thank the person regardless of the response.
  • Embrace that the win is that you made the ...

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