The Backpack

Chapter 9

Everybody has scars.

Life had proven that to be true.

Buddy had spent most of his twenties wandering, most of his thirties rushing, most of his forties wondering, and now, late in his fifties, he was finally enjoying. He used to wish he had gotten to that point sooner. What if, at an earlier point in his life, he had worked harder to understand himself more and love people better? What if, as a younger man, he had thought about others more . . . and himself less?

He didn't think about that often. As he learned from his psychologist friend, Truman, there are only a few things that are absolutely true all of the time. One of them is that you cannot change one iota something that happened one hour, one day, or one year ago . . . but you can make small changes each day to have a better tomorrow.

You can learn from your scars.

Truman, who Buddy called Dr. T, had taught Buddy about the power and importance of reflecting on the past without dwelling on it. Dr. T had attributed it to something Socrates had said about an “unexamined life.” But the purpose of reflection was the key. Everybody thought about events from their past, both near and far. The more important question was why you reflected on something.

Dr. T had shared:

• “Remembering happy times is a life‐giver.
• Repenting and amending for mistakes is a life requirement.
• Regretting and learning from stupid choices is—or can be—a good life coach.
• But allowing the mental onslaught of the oughttas, shouldas and if onlys ...