book

The Coaching Manual: The Definitive Guide to the Process, Principles and Skills of Personal Coaching, Second edition

Name: The Coaching Manual: The Definitive Guide to the Process, Principles and Skills of Personal Coaching, Second edition
Author: Julie Starr
ISBN: 9780131370005

by Julie Starr

January 2009

Beginner

368 pages

7h 15m

English

Pearson

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Copyright
Books that make you better
Acknowledgements
Further resources
1. Introduction
The purpose of this bookA manual that helps you to learnWhat is personal coaching?Where does coaching come from?Coaching as an industryHow does personal coaching happen?The coaching relationshipLearn to coach by being coachedCoaching in businessExecutive coachingBusinesses – harnessing the concept of interdependencePersonal coaching: life/lifestyleWhy do people choose life coaching?A comparison of coaching and therapyWhen coaching isn’t the answerChapter summary: Introduction
2. Collaborative coaching
What does collaborative coaching mean?Non-directive versus directive languageDirective language – advantagesDirective language – disadvantagesNon-directive language – advantagesNon-directive language – disadvantagesAttributes of a good coachChapter summary: Collaborative coaching
3. Coaching principles or beliefs
Operating principles for coachesMaintain a commitment to support the individualCoaching from non-judgementWhat does non-judgement feel like for a coach?How do we let go of judgement?Stage one – become awareStage two – let go of your own thoughtsStage three – use intention to guide your attentionBuild the coaching relationship on truth, openness and trustThe coachee is responsible for the results they are generatingVictim posturesResponsibility is not blameThe coachee is capable of much better results than they are currently generatingFocus on what the coachee thinks and experiencesCoachees can generate perfect solutionsThe conversation is based on equalityChapter summary: Coaching principles or beliefs
4. Fundamental skills of coaching
Can anyone coach?Skill one – building rapport or relationshipRapport – the dance behind communicationWhat creates rapport?Physical appearance/clothesBody language/physical gesturesQualities of voiceLanguage/words usedBeliefs and valuesWhen to increase rapportIncreasing rapport through simple matchingWhen is matching actually mismatching?The question of eye contactWhen to decrease rapportThe importance of intentionDeveloping the coaching relationship over timeIntegrityOpenness and trustSkill two – different levels of listeningThe gift of listeningListening in order to influenceListening within coachingWhat do we mean by levels of listening?Cosmetic listeningConversational listeningActive listeningDeep listeningSeeking to serveDeveloping deep listeningSkill three – using intuitionIntuition – within coachingIntuition – wisdom in actionCommunicating non-verballyA practical toolHow do we develop intuition?The subtle nature of intuitionThe pitfall of intuitionAn implied need to develop our own learningSkill four – asking questionsTheir answer is in your questionKeeping things simpleComplex questions confuse peopleQuestions can be like keys that open doorsQuestions with purposeMaintaining integrity of purposeInfluence versus control – leading the witnessMaking someone wrongThe importance of voiceAn appreciation of closed and open questionsPowerful questionsWhat if your question doesn’t create progress?Give an observation before an answerSkill five – giving supportive feedbackFeedback as a way of learningWhat do we mean by feedback?Knowing when to give feedbackHow to give feedbackFeedback given with a positive intentionA need for integrityFeedback based on fact and behaviourThe difference between objective and subjective feedbackSubjective – the pros and consObjective – the pros and consFeedback that is constructive and beneficialAn example of constructive feedbackChapter summary: Fundamental skills of coaching
5. Barriers to coaching
Physical and environmental barriersIs your room right?FatigueBehavioural barriers: ‘what not to do’Too much talkingLess is moreEmotional statesSympathy as an emotional stateWhen empathy seems coldSeeking to control or dominate the conversationNeeding to be ‘right’Playing ‘fix-it’Assuming your experience is relevantStaying focusedLooking for the ‘perfect solution’Perfection is in the eye of the beholderTrying to look good in the conversationStaying present in the conversationConfusion can be powerfulStrategizing in the conversationBeing authentic – speaking our truthExample of strategizingExample of being authenticGiving up strategizingFocusing on what not to doThe power of substitutionChapter summary: Barriers to coaching
6. Coaching conversations: the coaching path
The coaching path: guiding principlesActivities, not ‘tasks’Stage one – establish conversationLet’s assume familiarityFacilitation, navigationStage two – identify topic and goalGet clarity, rather than detailVague leads to driftingRemember the person within the processWhen you decide you need a more specific goal upfrontThe goal for the session is not the same as the goal for the situationStage three – surface understanding and insightRevisit the factsBuild an understandingKeep building informationSummaries alleviate pressure and enable reflectionA summary for you and meDevelop a sense of possibilityRegain a feeling of influenceStage four – shape agreements and conclusionsPulling the conversation togetherRefine ideasAgreements and actionsSummarize and agreePrecision in languageAvoid embedding negative emotionsDrilling for detailed actionsStage five – completion/closeThe coaching path: make the process your ownChapter summary: Coaching conversations: the coaching path
7. Coaching assignment: structure and process
Four stages of a coaching assignmentA set of four developing activitiesStage one – establish the context for coachingMake sure the physical environment supports coachingMake sure the mechanics of coaching are mutually agreedIs the coachee aware of what to expect?Taking notesEngage the coachee in coachingDoes the coachee want the coaching?What does the coachee expect to happen?Does the individual really want change?Begin to focus on desired outcomesStage two – create understanding and directionGetting to know the coacheeGetting to know what the coachee wantsMaintaining direction within each sessionDeveloping goalsLearning guidelinesState the goal in positive termsCoaching questions – be positiveGet specific! What, where, when, with whom?Coaching questions – be specificUse the senses to pull it closerCoaching questions – pull it closerIs this your goal – or someone else’s?Coaching questions – check influenceA question of balanceCoaching questions – check balanceIncrease motivationCoaching questions – increase motivationTaking action – do it now!Coaching questions – taking actionUsing personality profiling or 360° feedbackPersonality profiling360° feedbackGathering 360° feedback via personal interviewsDelivering 360° feedback to the coacheeOngoing development of direction and goalsStage three – review/confirm learningDeciding when and how to reviewConfirming learningLinking results to coachingWhat if there aren’t any results?What if the results are not good?Stage four – completionThe purpose of completionBegin with the end in mindLeave people feeling good about the coachingPersonal development plansOther ways to encourage ongoing learningMake sure an individual feels supportedA framework for coachingSeparate selling from coachingThe order of coaching stages/activitiesChapter summary: Coaching assignment: structure and process

8. Emotional maturity and coaching
What is emotional maturity?What’s in a name?Emotional maturity – what does it look like?Let’s get emotional . . .Life – can you handle it?Success – it’s personalEmotional maturity – four competencesEmotional competence: self-awarenessSelf-awareness: The link to the coachDeveloping self-awarenessSelf-awareness: the link to the coacheeEmotional competence: self-managementSelf-management: the link to the coachSelf-management: the link to the coacheeEmotional competence: awareness of othersAwareness of others: the link to the coachAwareness of others: the link to the coacheeEmotional competence: relationship managementRelationship management: the link to the coachRelationship management: the link to the coacheeChapter summary: Emotional maturity and coaching
9. Becoming a coach
What do we mean – ‘become a coach’?So you want to be a coach?Paid coach or unpaid coach?Professional coaching – ‘just coach’ or ‘coach and also . . .’?What kind of coach are you?Begin from where you are nowBuild from what you have nowHow do you equip yourself to be a great coach?Chapter summary: Becoming a coach
10. Summary and close
Key points of learningCollaborative coaching is an effective, respectful approachA good coach is defined by the principles they operate from as much as what they actually doCore skills can be identified and developedWhat a coach doesn’t do is often as important as what they doThe coaching path can support most formal coaching conversationsThinking about structure and process helps make coaching effectiveA good coach is emotionally matureBecoming a coachThe future of coachingTaking your learning forwardChapter summary: Summary and close
1. Coaching overview document
IntroductionWhat is personal coaching?Why do people have coaching?What coaching is notStructured training, e.g. classroom learningTherapy, psychoanalysis, psychotherapyA way of someone else solving your problems for youWhat you can expect from your coachWhat your coach will expect from youHow might coaching benefit you?
2. Summary of a first session
Session objectivesBackgroundInitial objectives for coachingTony’s objectives for the projectA need for a consistent style of leadershipStructuring timeHead spaceConclusionsGathering feedbackActions
3. Feedback interview document

Content preview from The Coaching Manual: The Definitive Guide to the Process, Principles and Skills of Personal Coaching, Second edition

Chapter 8. Emotional maturity and coaching

One of the benefits of effective coaching over time is a general development of a coachee’s emotional maturity. This chapter will explain the term ‘emotional maturity’ and the link to coaching. It will also consider the work we might still have to do for ourselves as coaches in this area; for if our coaching conversations are to weave magic, then our own levels of emotional maturity will help or hinder the flow of that subtle force.

What is emotional maturity?

Emotional maturity relates to our capacity to deal with our emotions. Our ability to interpret emotions, express emotions and ‘let go’ of emotions are all functions of our emotional maturity. When we have developed an ability to do this well, we are ...

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The Coaching Manual: The Definitive Guide to the Process, Principles and Skills of Personal Coaching, Second edition

by Julie Starr

Chapter 8. Emotional maturity and coaching

What is emotional maturity?

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