The Communication Code

2The Power of the Past

If you want relationships to progress healthily in the future, you must deal with any issues from the past.

The past carries more weight than we fully understand. It becomes more prominent over time as memories loom large in the minds of those we might have negatively affected by past actions. Remember, people have long memories.

How people have experienced you in the past directly affects how people experience you in the present.

Are you fully aware of how people have experienced you in the past? You might be dumbfounded about how your past negatives affect your relationships today.

Here are three historical challenges that must be addressed that affect communication and relational depth:

1. Relational Trust
2. Misaligned Expectations
3. Power Dynamics

These issues complicate relationships and make restoration more difficult. Until you understand and deal with these three historical issues, you will not be able to have a breakthrough in your current relationships and may experience the following:

• Trust issues: If a person has been hurt or betrayed by you in the past, they may struggle with trusting you now, leading to insecurities and doubts, which can strain your relationship.
• Communication struggles: How you communicate in relationships is often shaped by your past experiences. For example, suppose you grew up in a family where conflict was avoided. In that case, you may struggle to communicate your feelings or resolve disputes in a current relationship. ...