The Communication Code

9People Whispering

At this point in the book, you should be able to:

• Understand the relational dynamics between you and at least one other person.
• Be aware of any historical negativities or power dynamics from you to them.
• Gauge your leadership style of liberating, dominating, protecting, or abdicating.
• Comprehend your communication style of whether you tend to critique, collaborate, clarify, care, or celebrate.

This chapter is designed to put it all together—to fully understand how to unlock the relational dynamics between you and at least one other person. Over time, this should lead you to work on the next relationship and then the next.

We hope you will be a master people whisperer. A people whisperer is self‐aware, understands complex relational dynamics, and can consistently choose the correct communication code.

Those who can connect well with others can change almost anything.

Deciding to Change

Ingrid had always prided herself on her honesty and straightforwardness. She was the kind of person who never sugarcoated anything and had no patience for people who did. So, when her friend Maria would come to her with a problem, Ingrid would immediately offer her opinion, even if it was critical.

But over time, Ingrid noticed that Maria was becoming more distant. She seemed to be avoiding Ingrid, and when they did spend time together, the conversations were stilted and awkward.

One day, Ingrid decided to confront Maria about it. “What's going on? Are you mad at me ...