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The Confidence Myth by Helene Lerner

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3Win with Honest Feedback

MYTH

When I feel criticized, I react defensively and I can’t be objective.

TRUTH

I have the ability to discriminate, take what fits, and leave the rest.

Many people don’t like confrontation, so telling you what you are doing right is easier for them than saying what you’re doing wrong. But if no one speaks honestly to you, how will you know what is getting in the way of your moving up?

Feedback tells us how we are really being perceived, so if we are not getting it, we need to ask for it. Although feedback may not be easy to seek out or hear, once we get it we can take what fits, make the necessary adjustments, and discard what doesn’t. In my interviews with women leaders, they all agreed that honest feedback is a must. ...

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