The Conflict Resolution Toolbox, 2nd Edition

CHAPTER EIGHTMODEL #5: THE LAW OF RECIPROCITY

with Cal Furlong

BACKGROUND OF THE NATURAL LAWS

This model, along with Loss Aversion Bias in the next chapter, is slightly different than the other models in the book, in that these two are drawn from patterns of behavior that have been identified and repeatedly studied by psychologists, sociologists, and behaviorists for a long time. The research on these cognitive biases is both fascinating and deep, showing just how powerfully they guide our behavior. This information, however, has remained in the realm of research, rarely making its way into common use and practice. That needs to change. These patterns are strong and influential, they help determine a great many of our choices in many settings, and yet they remain largely unconscious, especially in conflict situations. In this and the following chapter, they are presented as simple models to help practitioners diagnose and intervene more effectively by understanding the impact of these unconscious habits on the decisions people make.

By way of background, the Law of Reciprocity and the Loss Aversion Bias operate as if they were “natural laws.” In the hard sciences, natural laws are inviolable principles such as the law of gravity or the three laws of motion—scientifically provable laws of nature. Take the law of gravity as an example. Gravity is a natural law that is so common, so pervasive, that we rarely think of it—yet gravity affects and shapes what we do every waking ...