The Cycle of the Gift: Family Wealth and Wisdom

Chapter 10

Fair versus Equal, Separate versus Together

There are some core practices to mindful giving. Among the most important of them are to reflect on yourself, your principles, your values, and your dreams and to try to understand recipients, who they are as individuals as well as their principles, values, and dreams.

But as we have seen, family giving frequently involves a more complex system than the twosome of giver and recipient. Often, there are multiple recipients. If you are a parent or a grandparent, you are probably wondering, “Should I give my children exactly equal amounts?”

The Balancing Act

The common response is, “Treat your children [or grandchildren] fairly but not necessarily equally.” Equitable, not equal. Easier said than ...