The Elements of Negotiation

ELEMENT 46Working with Summaries

When you summarize, your message takes a new turn in the circuit of the sensory memory, the short-term memory, the long-term memory, and the working store. New bits become entrenched, repetition intensifies learning, and you become aware of any misunderstandings.

When your colleagues summarize, they intensify the effect. You can also ask the recipient to summarize, which is by far the best method. You get direct feedback as to how much of the message has come across and been assessed, and you can rectify any misunderstandings. Always ask the other party to summarize your proposals before they leave to consider them.

Always summarize what you've agreed to before you part company. Ask questions of the type, “What have we arrived at?’’ “Does this mean we have a deal?’’ “What does it look like?’’ “Could you please summarize?’’

Consider this example: It's Sunday morning and your child enters the room saying,

• We haven't been to the movies for a long time.
• That's right.
• Couldn't we go today?
• We'll have to see.
• But when can we go?
• This afternoon.

• Later in the day, the child says,
• Aren't we going soon?
• Where?
• You promised that we'd be going to see a movie.
• I didn't promise, I said we'd see …
• You promised, you promised !!!!!
• If you start anything, we certainly won't be going.
• But you promised !!!

The child turns to her mother to complain. She sides with her child and takes the child to the cinema. After the cinema they go to the burger place. At ...