The Elephant and the Mouse

Chapter 5What You Can Do Easily

The rest of the sentence in the chapter title is “I may not be able to do at all.” A parent tells their child, “Be creative.” A police officer shouts, “Calm down.” A boss gives feedback, “Say what you think.” These are all potential no‐win situations. How does one force someone to be creative on demand? If a police officer is shouting at someone to calm down, the circumstances are probably quite fraught with anxiety. The manager who tells you to say what you think may not realize that you will be judged in a particular way depending upon your gender or other status.

IT IS NOT THE NORM

These are all called double binds, and they occur more frequently in the workplace than may be realized. Once someone is in a double bind, it is almost impossible to get it right. This can be a heavy weight on those who find themselves caught in the narrow canyon of behavior that a double bind forces upon them.

Merriam‐Webster's dictionary describes a “double bind” as “a psychological predicament in which a person receives from a single source conflicting messages that allow no appropriate response to be made,” and lists synonyms as “catch‐22,” “dilemma,” and “quandary.”

The literature on women and diversity has often referenced this double bind. Kathleen Hall Jamieson, the director of the Annenberg Public Policy Center, wrote a book about the subject.¹ For example, ...