Control or Engage?

The best example of leadership in our culture is the one most often ignored; good parenting.

—Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

EVERY SUMMER since she was born, my daughter Alexis and I have traveled from our home in Seattle to Cape May, a resort town on the southern coast of New Jersey. My parents and nine brothers and sisters rent as many charming Victorian houses as are required to hold all the children, grandchildren, wives, husbands, and significant others for a week-long family reunion. To a worrying father, each new stage in his child’s life holds its own peculiar terrors. This was Alex’s fifth year at the New Jersey shore, so she no longer wanted Dad looking over her shoulder, especially at the beach. I knew my job ...

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