One of the most common pieces of early career advice most people receive is to not take work personally. It’s as if we’re all supposed to strap on bulletproof vests, so that when we have setbacks, when we mess up or get negative feedback, we can feel the impact but not be affected. We’re to adopt a posture somewhere between battle-tested stoicism and generalized detachment.

As nearly all of us are indoctrinated into the working world this way, it causes a struggle when we meet with a popular imperative for leadership: to be authentic. Um, aren’t these ideas in conflict? How can I be fully myself when I’m not supposed to let them see me sweat? How do I balance the messages I’m tasked to deliver with what I actually ...

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