THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE TOOTH FAIRY. For some reason, I've never been able to fully fess up to my kids about what's really going on there. Perhaps I just want them to hold on to their childhood for as long as possible, or maybe I just want to cherish the innocence of that stage of their lives. But whatever it is, I've been a rock while under the most intense of interrogations concerning my whereabouts after money has mysteriously appeared under the various pillows in question.
I've had a few close calls, though. I thought the jig was up one day when one of my kids marched home from first grade with some new information (it's scary the kind of things they pick up hanging out in the school yard). It seems a friend, with absolutely no regard for all my years of stonewalling, had spilled the beans. As I was doing all I could to choke back my disappointment, my miniature Sherlock Holmes declared, "I know who the tooth fairy is!" My mind raced for some way out as he continued, "It's Billy Gordon's mother!"
After explaining what a ridiculous logistical and financial nightmare it would be for Billy Gordon's mother to roam the entire world each night collecting teeth and shelling out money, I was able to quell that particular piece of misinformation. And luckily, either because of a lack of investigative instincts or merely because they have learned to humor me over the years, that's the closest any underage member of my house has come to cracking the case.