CHAPTER 7

The Role of Self-Control in Emotional Intelligence

Fred was a division manager for a plastics corporation. He prided himself on his work ethic and his fairness to his employees. And it was true: Fred’s employees nearly always used the word “fair” to describe him. And they used another word too: “distant” or “cold.” When Fred’s father was dying of cancer, he didn’t share this news with anyone at work. He put on a stoic face and tried to concentrate on his job. People speculated about what might be wrong, because Fred seemed extra edgy and out of the office a lot. No one learned about the situation until after his father’s death. Said one employee, “He would be a lot more human if he’d just let down a little bit.”

Self-control is based ...

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