The Matriarch Rules

IntroductionBecoming a Modern Matriarch

I was 12 years old, my hair was too curly, my glasses were too big, and my self-esteem was too low. I walked in the door after school one day and my mom said, “You're babysitting for the neighbors' kids tonight.” “I am? How much will they pay me?” “We didn't discuss that. You'll get whatever she gives you.”

And so it began. My services had whatever value the person receiving them decided on … The lesson? Asking for money is wrong, rude, and presumptuous. Can you relate?

The best way to describe the effects of this is by saying life just happens to you; you get what you get, and you shouldn't expect more. This set me up for a world where accepting what I was given became the norm.

My mother was telling me what I was going to do, and I understood perfectly. She had the power to control me, and for some reason, she was more concerned about the lady who needed a babysitter than about teaching me the life lesson of charging my worth.

Message downloaded and saved to my hard drive as my_inner_voice.pdf.

This was the set up for many years of lying to myself about my worth and building and collecting evidence that supported those lies. In fact, I built and collected so much evidence that I became personally bankrupt. I had no self-esteem and no opinion about anything.

Someone would say, “What do you want to do?” I'd say, “Whatever you want to do is good.” They'd ask, “What do you want for dinner?” “Whatever you want is fine.” The same happened when ...