Near the end of an Arbinger training event with employees of a large manufacturing company, the facilitator explained that one person changing to an outward mindset doesn’t make others respond in kind; others still choose their own mindsets.

One of the participants spoke up. “I understand that,” she said, “but I often respond differently to people that I know care about me; I just do. They don’t make me respond differently, but it’s almost like I can’t help it. Something about their concern for me invites me to start thinking more carefully about them.” Heads nodded around the room.

“That’s my experience too,” said another. “For me, it’s surprising how often mindset change in one person does end up inviting change in others.” ...

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