Chapter SixteenAdditional Challenges and Resources
IT IS EASY to think we can divide the parental leave experience into two categories: those who have a healthy, “normal” experience of transitioning into working parenthood and those who are somehow inadequate and don't. That binary line of thinking would lead us to believe that a normal person could zing along through each touchpoint in this book without any hiccups, and only an inadequate person would need this extra chapter addressing what is “wrong” with them. You can probably tell by my tone here how I feel about this all-or-nothing view of our shared and endlessly nuanced humanity.
The entirety of your experience of becoming a parent and negotiating your parental leave is normal because it is yours and it is unique. Every person who becomes a parent does so in their own way, within their own circumstances. Your one-of-a-kind experience is by no means abnormal, even if it is an outlier.
A mother who had a late-stage miscarriage said to me, “I am so aware of my experience being treated as if it were a phenomenon, when really, with every person I talk to, I find out how normal it is.” Our country is in the early stages of a societal awakening that is allowing historically marginalized experiences to come out of the shadows and be looked at anew, or sometimes for the first time, in the light. With awareness can come better understanding, empowerment, and support.
My purpose in this chapter is to encourage us all to better ...
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