O'Reilly logo

The Power of Feedback: 35 Principles for Turning Feedback from Others into Personal and Professional Change by John H. Jack Zenger, Joseph R. Folkman

Stay ahead with the world's most comprehensive technology and business learning platform.

With Safari, you learn the way you learn best. Get unlimited access to videos, live online training, learning paths, books, tutorials, and more.

Start Free Trial

No credit card required

CHAPTER 5
Deciding What to Change
Several years ago, I arrived home late from an out-of-town trip. As I slipped quietly into bed, I noticed a note on my pillow. I slipped into the bathroom, thinking it must be a love note from my wife. As I turned on the bathroom light, I read in large print on the cover page of the note: “Things You Can Do to Save Our Marriage.”
This got my attention.
When I turned to the next page, I saw a list of 24 items. At the top of the list, in the number one position, was “Clean Your Office.”
The next day, I got up early and spent most of the day cleaning and organizing my office. By the time I finished, it was perfect. My wife was impressed by my efforts, and so I thought I would not have to worry too much about the other 23 items.
I kept my office clean for a few weeks, and then asked my wife for some feedback. Her response was clear and to the point: “Nothing has changed,” she said.
“But, what about the office?” I asked. With that, she just looked at me in disgust and walked away.
What I have found since then is that, even though the cluttered appearance of my office may be a frequent grumble for my wife, its cleanliness has almost no correlation to the quality of our marriage. My office can be a disaster at the same time our marriage seems wonderful, or it can be very clean and organized even when our marriage is experiencing frustrations.
I found that the issue at the top of the list was not necessarily the most important one to change. I also found ...

With Safari, you learn the way you learn best. Get unlimited access to videos, live online training, learning paths, books, interactive tutorials, and more.

Start Free Trial

No credit card required