The Power of Nice, Revised and Updated

Chapter 9Negotiating from Weakness

What if you're negotiating with someone who has the upper hand, that is, more clout at the table? Let's say, their side has property you “must” have. Or their company is the “only” customer for your goods. Or, maybe, they know that you're “under pressure” to make a deal. How can you still be a formidable negotiator? How can you achieve your interests? How do you negotiate effectively when you're in a weak position?

Perceived Weakness versus Real Weakness

Pretend to have the confidence you don't yet feel.

—Sheryl Sandberg

The first question you have to answer is: Are you really negotiating from a weak position or is it just your perception? Too often, we exaggerate our own weaknesses, assuming them to be greater than those of the other side. Don't assume the other side holds all the cards. You may have a good sense of what their strengths are, but you don't know what they perceive as their own weaknesses or your strengths.

Ask Questions

The best way to determine the other side's state of mind is with thoughtful inquiry. You don't have to ask, “Do you think you have me where you want me?” But you can dig into the subject by getting surrounding or ancillary information by finding out:

• What other deals of a similar nature have they made?
• What brought them to you for this deal?
• What can they tell you about the background of their company or their players?
• Who are some of their references?
• What do they know about your company and/or players ...