RULE 34
74
T H E R U L E S O F L O V E
Don’t put them on a
pedestal and expect
them to stay there
Some of us do like to put our partner on a pedestal. To think of
them as some kind of king or queen, and worship at their feet.
Maybe you think its not quite that extreme, but when you love
someone it’s easy to convince yourself that they’re perfect.
Well they’re not. They’re human. Sooner or later they’ll make mis-
takes, mess up, handle things badly, behave out of character. It’s
inevitable you do it, I do it, everyone does it. Even the god or
goddess you’re in love with will do it.
If you recognize and accept that, fine. But we tend to expect our
deities to be infallible, and that puts huge pressure on your loved
one to live up to your expectations. They might rather enjoy being
worshipped (or they might not, not everyone does), but they worry
that you’ll be disillusioned when they fail to live up to your ideal-
ized image. And that’s not fair on them.
And how will you feel, when your beautiful partner puts on weight,
or your paragon of integrity lies to their boss, or your solid rock
suddenly crumbles? Sooner or later your partner is bound to show
their human side. Will you be disappointed? That’s not very fair on
them. They never claimed to be a god or goddess it was you who
put them on that pedestal. All they’ve done is step off it for a
moment and wander about a bit on their own.
Look, if you want to see your partner as some kind of superhuman
example of perfection, I guess that’s OK. After all, if you’ve read Rule
27,
10
you’re a superhero yourself. Just so long as you understand
10
If you haven’t read it, why not? What are you doing on Rule 34? Stop jump-
ing about and be a bit more orderly.
that they’re also human and they have all the same flaws and weak-
nesses that other humans have. Superman is also bumbling,
unprepossessing Clark Kent. And in the end, a relationship with a
fellow human is going to be a lot more rewarding than one with an
alien being, however wonderful.
So if you want to keep a pedestal for your partner that they can
climb up onto from time to time, that’s alright. But dont keep them
up there all the time. Allow them to come and go as they please and
enjoy the times when they behave like a deity. But also enjoy the
times they climb down and snuggle up with you and behave like
the messy, complicated, everyday human being they are too. It will
make their life much easier and, to be frank, it will make your life
more fun and your relationship more real.
RULE 34
75
R E L A T I O N S H I P R U L E S
A RELATIONSHIP WITH A
FELLOW HUMAN IS GOING
TO BE A LOT MORE
REWARDING THAN ONE
WITH AN ALIEN BEING

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