The Rules of Love

Do you still fancy your partner? I do hope so. And I hope they still

fancy you. After all, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t is there?

Or is there?

I presume you want your partner still to be as well groomed and

attractive as when you first met them, and that’s understandable.

OK they might be a bit older, but that can add to their appeal. And

if you want them to make the effort for you, you need to do the

same thing for them. I’m not only talking about looks, but also

about your behaviour and the way you talk to them. The softness of

your voice and all those little endearments. These things are all part

of our attractiveness, and it’s not fair on your partner if you switch

them all off after a while. You wouldn’t thank them for doing the

same thing to you.

I should just be clear here that I don’t mean you necessarily have to

spend hours every morning putting on make-up or choosing

clothes or shaving or grooming. When we first meet someone, we

often go to town on making sure we look picture perfect. A few

years on, maybe with kids and busy work schedules, this isn’t

always realistic. And you may have put on a few pounds as well.

That’s all fine – if your partner loves you, they’ll still find you attrac-

tive because you’re you.

So what am I saying? I’m saying that you shouldn’t go to the other

extreme. Don’t think that just because you’ve caught your man or

woman, you can now slob around the house in tracksuit bottoms

and an old grubby T-shirt, picking your teeth in front of them.

There are still standards to keep up, and you owe it to them to

show that you care about staying as attractive as you can for them.

RULE 36

78

T H E R U L E S O F L O V E

Never stop trying to be

attractive

RULE 36

79

R E L A T I O N S H I P R U L E S

It’s really not hard to comb your hair nicely and choose something

to wear that is clean and smart and looks flattering on you. It does-

n’t have to be anything fancy, and maybe you don’t have time for

make-up or you never wore it anyway. Or if you’re a bloke, perhaps

you’ve always favoured the unshaven look and that’s what she likes.

It’s just a matter of showing your partner respect by taking their

view into account. And I mean literally their ‘view’ – they’re the one

who’s going to be looking at you most (unless you spend a lot of

time in front of the mirror).

What’s more, you can still make an effort from time to time. I know

there’s not always much time in the mornings when you have a

busy life, but you can still dress up for your partner on special

occasions. Birthdays, meals out, parties and so on. Every once in a

while you can still spend some time in front of the mirror like you

did when you first met, and make sure your partner can feel really

lucky to be seen out with you … or to stay in with you.

IT’S JUST A MATTER OF

SHOWING YOUR PARTNER

RESPECT BY TAKING THEIR

VIEW INTO ACCOUNT