Do you still fancy your partner? I do hope so. And I hope they still
fancy you. After all, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t is there?
Or is there?
I presume you want your partner still to be as well groomed and
attractive as when you first met them, and that’s understandable.
OK they might be a bit older, but that can add to their appeal. And
if you want them to make the effort for you, you need to do the
same thing for them. I’m not only talking about looks, but also
about your behaviour and the way you talk to them. The softness of
your voice and all those little endearments. These things are all part
of our attractiveness, and it’s not fair on your partner if you switch
them all off after a while. You wouldn’t thank them for doing the
same thing to you.
I should just be clear here that I don’t mean you necessarily have to
spend hours every morning putting on make-up or choosing
clothes or shaving or grooming. When we first meet someone, we
often go to town on making sure we look picture perfect. A few
years on, maybe with kids and busy work schedules, this isn’t
always realistic. And you may have put on a few pounds as well.
That’s all fine – if your partner loves you, they’ll still find you attrac-
tive because you’re you.
So what am I saying? I’m saying that you shouldn’t go to the other
extreme. Don’t think that just because you’ve caught your man or
woman, you can now slob around the house in tracksuit bottoms
and an old grubby T-shirt, picking your teeth in front of them.
There are still standards to keep up, and you owe it to them to
show that you care about staying as attractive as you can for them.
T H E R U L E S O F L O V E
Never stop trying to be
R E L A T I O N S H I P R U L E S
It’s really not hard to comb your hair nicely and choose something
to wear that is clean and smart and looks flattering on you. It does-
n’t have to be anything fancy, and maybe you don’t have time for
make-up or you never wore it anyway. Or if you’re a bloke, perhaps
you’ve always favoured the unshaven look and that’s what she likes.
It’s just a matter of showing your partner respect by taking their
view into account. And I mean literally their ‘view’ – they’re the one
who’s going to be looking at you most (unless you spend a lot of
time in front of the mirror).
What’s more, you can still make an effort from time to time. I know
there’s not always much time in the mornings when you have a
busy life, but you can still dress up for your partner on special
occasions. Birthdays, meals out, parties and so on. Every once in a
while you can still spend some time in front of the mirror like you
did when you first met, and make sure your partner can feel really
lucky to be seen out with you … or to stay in with you.
IT’S JUST A MATTER OF
SHOWING YOUR PARTNER
RESPECT BY TAKING THEIR
VIEW INTO ACCOUNT