The Rules of Love

This is really unfair. We’ve already established that there are no

Rules for your friends – you take them as they come. But there

are Rules for you. Oh yes. I expect you to be the best friend you

can to the people you choose to give your friendship to.

That can be hard work, I’ll warn you now. It means finding time

for your friends when they need you even though you’re busy,

exhausted, otherwise committed. It means juggling your life to

fit your friends in unexpectedly when they hit trouble. Of course

there’ll be long periods when they don’t need you, and you don’t

need them. Times when you’ll both understand that work and

life and kids and whatever else can get in the way, and you

hardly see each other. It won’t matter because when you finally

get the time for each other, you’ll just pick up where you left off.

That’s what good friendships are about.

But every so often your friend will call out of the blue, or turn

up on your doorstep, and they’ll need you. Really need you.

Something has gone wrong and they’re desperate for a shoulder

to cry on, someone to help, someone to listen. And you’ll be

there. Even it means staying up half the night when you’re

already tired, or getting someone to mind the kids for a couple

of hours, or taking a day’s holiday – or more – from work.

There are lots of qualities a good friend needs of course – you

need to be a good listener, to be positive and supportive, to be

loyal, thoughtful, kind, sympathetic, dependable. But you can’t

be any of those things unless you’re there. That’s why the most

important thing of all is to show your support by making the

time for your friend, however hard.

RULE 88

194

T H E R U L E S O F L O V E

If you’re going to be

a friend, be a

good friend

RULE 88

195

F R I E N D S H I P R U L E S

They may not need you to give them hours of time, of course.

Maybe they just need a few minutes, or a favour. Maybe they

need you to call for five minutes every couple of days to touch

base with them. Perhaps they need you to keep on asking how

they are, after everyone else has forgotten their troubles. Maybe

they need a card or an email to tell them you’re thinking of

them. On the other hand, maybe they do need your time.

This is one of the things that sets Rules Players apart. We learn

from what our greatest friends do for us, and we do the same for

others. We make sure we give our friends all the time and sup-

port they need when times are tough, even if it comes at some

hardship to ourselves. Because if you can’t be there when your

friends need you, what’s the point of being their friend?

THIS IS ONE OF THE

THINGS THAT SETS RULES

PLAYERS APART