RULE 84

Yelling isn’t the answer

Suppose your child has done all those things in Rule 83. OK, that’s too awful to contemplate. Suppose they’ve done just one or two of them. And things have gone wrong. They can’t kick the fags, or they’ve got an STD, or they’re about to get expelled from school. Would you rather they came to you for help, or not?

Of course you would. No question, you want to help. But are you sure they’re going to tell you? How will they decide whether to tell you or not? The answer is, they’ll judge by what’s happened in the past when you’ve found out about things. Smaller things probably – the time they spilt paint all over the bedroom carpet, or that time they promised they’d arranged a lift home from the party and then you ...

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