The Self-Care Mindset

CHAPTER 7Rethinking Habits

“We don't have to fit into our habits. Our habits have to fit us.”

“I just need more willpower.” “I just need to make myself do it.” “Tomorrow I'll do it, but today I just have to….” This is the inner‐dialog that many people feel stuck in. We beat ourselves up for not being disciplined enough, and of equal importance, we put ourselves on hold whenever something more urgent at work or at home pops up.

We live on habits. But it's important to consider whether or not they're working for or against us. Are they:

• helping us reach our goals?
• helping us work better every day?
• helping us live the kind of life we want?
• helping us forge the kind of relationships we want?
• supporting our well‐being and cultivating work‐life quality?

Knowing What We Need to Do Isn't Enough

When I began my career as an integrative nutrition and health coach, people would come to me with all sorts of reasons to create change in their lives ranging from wanting to lose weight, gain more energy, and feel stronger to wanting to better manage stress, be more focused and productive. At first, I thought that giving people the information about what their bodies needed and why it was good for them would be enough for them to change their habits. They asked me for the action steps; however, two weeks later, they'd come back with excuses for why it wasn't possible. Some would feel ashamed, guilty, and defeated, referring to themselves as “bad,” “weak,” or “failures.”

Through these ...