The Transformational Leader

14Battling Self-Limiting Beliefs and Embracing Change

It's not the strongest or most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.

—Charles Darwin

ELLA WAS a naturally gifted pianist; from a young age, she could perform complex pieces and was passionate about music. Unlike her peers, the 25-year-old didn't strive to be world-renowned. Instead, she dreamed of one day leading a symphony and worked tirelessly to make it a reality. After a decade of hard work, Ella felt that doors were beginning to open.

Soon after her 35th birthday, Ella became pregnant; nine months later, she was a mother. While everyone told her it would be the greatest moment of her life, she struggled with the transition. By age 45, she felt overwhelmed with immense personal and professional dissatisfaction. Instead of enjoying life's milestones, she found balancing her child's needs, caring for her aging parents, and holding on to her dreams exhausting.

When things were going well, Ella was happy and brightened every room she entered. But when she faced challenges, her mood shifted dramatically. She became increasingly focused on the negatives, often complaining about past performances and missed opportunities. Before long, Ella had adopted a dangerous and destructive mindset: that of a victim. She saw everyone and everything as trying to prevent her from achieving her professional goals. Not only did this affect her music, but it also strained her relationships.

Family and friends ...