Chapter 24
My Client Is a Jerk: Transforming Relationships Gone Bad
Difficult clients—and for that matter, bosses and colleagues—come in many different varieties. This chapter provides you with insight into what is really going on with the difficult people, as well as what is really going on with you. It offers specific strategies for turning difficult relationships into rewarding ones, along with a five-step technique for reframing problems that both invites and inspires collaboration.1
How many times have you experienced the following?
- A prospect who just cannot make a decision, regardless of how much data or analyses you provide at his request.
- A well-meaning boss who is frozen by politics, fear, or ignorance and as a result doesn’t face facts about critical issues.
- A client who is disrespectful to you and your team.
The good news: All these cases have something in common that can almost always be transformed. That something is you, which is where the change must begin.
Consider this deliberately provocative statement: There is no such thing as a difficult partner—there is only a relationship that is not working well. Freedom from difficult partners lies in taking responsibility for fixing the relationship.
What Lies Behind Bad Behavior
If your client behaves in ways that seem unproductive, ineffective, uncooperative, or untrustworthy, it is easy to dismiss her as a “jerk.” Lead with curiosity instead to look at what may be behind the behavioral issue—for her and for you. ...
