The Truth About Better Decision-Making (Collection), 2/e

Truth 27. The similarity principle

Think about the last social event you attended where you met someone for the first time. Chances are, you spent the first part of your conversation trying to establish a point of similarity. When people meet for the first time, they relentlessly search for a point of similarity. For example, “Do I detect a Texas accent?” “Have you ever met my friend Rhonda?” “Where did you go to school?”

The irrepressible urge to find a point of similarity in others is hardwired in most of us. It is our primitive way of sizing up whether someone is friend or foe, threat or opportunity. Someone who is like us might share some of our gene pool and work with us, not against us.

Part of negotiation is trying to find a point of similarity. ...