The Unexpected Leader

6Finding the Time to Refine

I'm fine” is the single most common response when someone asks someone else how they have been. Even when the person who was asked has been doing tremendously well or awfully bad, the most common response is still “I'm fine.”

Now, why is that? Why do we say “I'm fine” even in moments when we're nowhere close to fine. Well, this could be for a myriad of reasons, including avoiding feelings, avoiding conflict, avoiding our problems, being overly modest, or not wanting to be disruptive in a passive environment.

It's also because our lives can easily drift into autopilot mode if we let them, and saying, “I'm fine” turns into one of those automatic responses that are easy and often mindless.

Let me give you the most common and obvious example of our lives on autopilot.

You've had a long day at work. All of the perfectly laid plans and meetings that you mapped out somehow decided to get a mind of their own and either run late or completely fall off track altogether. When the workday is complete, you gladly hop into your vehicle or jump aboard your daily public transportation knowing that every dollar you made that day, you earned. Almost instantly, you're exiting your transportation and heading toward your home door. As you reach for the doorknob, you quickly realize that your entire ride home was a complete blur. Although your commute is more than a hop and a skip from your workplace, you can't remember any of the details, including stop signs, stoplights, ...