The Unlocked Leader

Introduction: The Fear of Being Human

Imagine an elegant office somewhere in the Upper East Side of New York City. One after the other, top business executives discreetly slip into the comfortable waiting room a few minutes before the door opens. They fear crossing paths with someone they might know. When that happens, both people awkwardly look the other way. This is the office of a renowned psychotherapist, and most of the business leaders who turn up there would rather keep their visits secret. Never mind that over one in five CEOs now seek therapy.¹ Even Richard Nixon's psychotherapist pointed out that leaders who seek help in times of stress are courageous and serve interests broader than their own.² Unfortunately, for many business leaders, openly asking for help and exploring their emotions is still too often perceived as a weakness.

For decades, the traditional view was that to be successful, business leaders had to be infallible, unflappable, in control, and fearless. These leaders appeared to be born leaders, naturally endowed with supreme intelligence, coming up with brilliant ideas and directives from the mountaintop that lower echelons were then expected to execute. They are what I call superhero leaders.

As an executive coach, I have worked with many such superhero leaders. These smart, goal‐oriented, and successful executives are masters at leading with their heads. Yet there is something many of them are now realizing they should probably know but don't: how ...