The Yes/No Book

CHAPTER 6

The psychology of NO

No is a pretty simple word: in most languages, it is one of the shortest:

no – non – na – ne – nee – ni – nie – nein – nem – nej – net – nu – nao – aon – ei – eki – ikke – di – dim – jo

So you might think it is also one of the easiest to say. But far from it. Most of us actually find it very hard to say ‘no’, even when we know we should.

Saying ‘no’ does not just free up time, it releases a greater sense of control over your life which in turn gives you more self-confidence and self-esteem. It will enhance people’s respect for you as you shift your reputation from a yes-to-everything doormat to a careful thinker and reliable contributor.

There are many good reasons to overcome the barriers to saying ‘no’, but first, ...