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Things Your PMO is Doing Wrong by Michael Hatfield

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CHAPTER 5

Consultants

Mr. Anemone: Mr. Chigger. So, you want to learn to fly.

Mr. Chigger: Yes.

Mr. Anemone: Right, well, up on the table, arms out, fingers together, knees bent…

Mr. Chigger: No, no, no.

Mr. Anemone: Up on the table! Arms out, fingers together, knees bent, now, head well forward. Now, flap your arms. Go on, flap, faster…faster…faster…faster, faster, faster, faster—now jump! Rotten. Rotten. You're no bloody use at all. You're an utter bloody wash-out. You make me sick, you weed!

Mr. Chigger: Now look here…

Mr. Anemone: All right, all right. I'll give you one more chance, get on the table…

Mr. Chigger: Look, I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane.

Mr. Anemone: A what?

Mr. Chigger: I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane. ...

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